Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Why?

Why my family?

We try to be good people, why did this happen?

If God is really there, why is there so much sorrow and suffering in this world?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

I know that God is there and He has a plan for our growth and development.  To read more about how I know this, please click here.  With the knowledge of God's reality comes a question, "If there is a designer of this world, what is the design?"  Because of the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Modern Day Prophets, we know the following about the design of our lives:

"Heavenly Father prepared a plan to enable us to 
become like Him and receive a fulness of joy." 

(True to the Faith)

We are not meant to be just "good people" we are meant to be better people.

The purpose of our earthly experience is to become LIKE our Father in Heaven.  God is all-loving. God is patient. God is forgiving in the face of outright rebellion. God is merciful to those who truly do not deserve mercy. Each of these traits (and many others) constitute the "Divine Nature" of God.  We seek to have patience like His. We seek to have unconditional love like His. We seek to have knowledge like His.

Christ gave us the command to "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Matt 5:48, New Testament).  We are meant to become like our Father and the trials we face in this life are part of the process.

"It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, 
that we gain the education that we come here to acquire” 

(Elder Orson F. Whitney of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles,
quoted in Improvement Era, Mar. 1966, 211)

"God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants [and] to think as He thinks."

(President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints , April 2009 General Conference)

But let me assure you, we do not have to face these trials alone.

Jesus Christ suffered every pain, heartache and sorrow that this world can offer so he would know how to comfort you.

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind... that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."

(Alma 7:11-12, Book of Mormon)

The word "succor" means "to run to". This beautiful verse is telling us that Christ has suffered all the pains of this world so He can run to us and bring us relief.  When your trials feel too heavy, call to Him and He will run to you.  He suffered so greatly so he would know exactly how you feel.

"Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief."

(Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, October 2008 General Conference)

I have been hurt. I have been betrayed. I have been disappointed. On one particular occasion, I had lost an opportunity that I had been so confident I was going to get. I'm a pretty logical person, but I just couldn't find any reason why I had failed.

Weeks passed. I tried and tried to convince myself that "it wasn't that big of a deal" or "you probably just made some mistake that you didn't realize." I threw myself into my school work and focused on other positive things, but I just couldn't shake the disappointment. I counseled with wise leaders and loving friends, but it was the kind of hurt that still echoes in the back of your mind and even chocolate can't soothe!

After a few months, I again found myself on the brink of tears and was so frustrated at myself that I wasn't "over it" by now.  I remember sitting on my little twin bed in my college apartment when a thought came into my mind, "Christ said that He suffered for all of our pains and afflictions. You've tried everything else, maybe you should try seeking His peace..."

When they speak about "faith as a mustard seed", this was a great example. My faith was SO small. I barely had confidence to try but I knew that NOTHING else could seem to ease my hurt. It was a move of sheer desperation with only the slightest hope that it would work.

Let me bear witness to you - it was enough.

I redirected my thoughts to a whispered prayer, "Lord, you said you could heal me. Can you really?"
There came over me a rush of peace that filled my soul.  I was "encircled about eternally in the arms of his love" (2 Nephi 1:15, Book of Mormon). In an instant, I was healed. The pain and disappointment were no longer there.   It was like someone had deleted a file from my mental hard drive.  I could remember all of the details of the experience, but the memories came only with recollection of Christ's love for me - not any of the pain.

I felt like shouting from the rooftops!  I wanted everyone to know of the miraculous healing power that is offered by Jesus Christ.  Interestingly, I never discovered why I missed that opportunity - nor did it ever come again. God did not change my circumstances, but He sent His Son to help me through it.

Mountains to Climb

I have had other painful experiences since that time - and some have not been so instantly healing.  Some have only been moments of peace in the midst of turmoil or encouragement to keep pushing forward until the healing comes.  Yet through all of them, I have felt the love of my Heavenly Father.

"Whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry, “Where art Thou?” it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us."

(Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles,

 "Lessons from Liberty Jail", Ensign, Sept. 2009)

My heart breaks with the sorrow and suffering that happens in this world.  But I trust in the Great Healer and that the day will come when, "God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes" (Revelation 21:4, New Testament).  The bad things that happen to us can refine, strengthen and change us into more Christlike people.  We have mountains to climb, but He will be with us all along the way.

President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, shares a beautiful perspective on the trials we face in this life.

Is God Really There?

I am one year older than Elizabeth Smart.  If you don't remember, in 2002, she was kidnapped from her home in Salt Lake City.  She was a lovely, tall blonde with hazel eyes.  I grew up about 40 minutes from Salt Lake and was also a lovely, tall blonde with hazel eyes.  On multiple occasions in the weeks that followed her kidnapping, I was mistaken for Elizabeth Smart and almost had the police called a few times.  To say the least, I was a little spooked by the entire situation.

Also during that time, I started to wonder, "Is God really there?".

I once read a quote in someone's locker that said:

"I would rather live my life as if there is a god and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is."

-Albert Camus

I suppose this is faith.  A glimmer of hope that God could possibly be there - and that His promises are worth it if I will act on that faith.

But is He really there?

Does He care about us?

Does He know me?

My desire for religion started with His promises.  He had a guarantee that calmed my childhood fears and was worth being a "good girl" for.

I remember being very young and always being a worry wart.  I specifically remember a night when my dad was late coming home from a meeting.  Truthfully, he was probably only a minute or two late - but in the mind of a small child, it felt a lot longer.

I remember crying to mom, "Where is daddy?  What if there's been an accident?  What if he never comes home?"

To her overly dramatic daughter, my mother gently comforted me, "I think your dad is fine - he's just running late.  But Felicia, I want you to know something:  Even if he isn't fine and your daddy is killed in an accident, our family is forever.  Daddy and I were married in the temple.  We made promises to God and God made promises to us that our family is sealed together by the Holy Priesthood.  That means that if we are faithful to the promises we made, God will make sure that we are with daddy again." (To learn more about Mormon Temples, please click here.)

My mother's words and God's promises relieved my worried heart.  (My dad, soon after, arrived home safe and sound).  In me, was a seed of trust.  I had a taste of the confidence that comes when you can trust someone more powerful, loving and knowledgable than yourself.

In the field of science, there is a pattern of discovery called, "The Scientific Method".  Basically, you ask a question (a hypothesis), formulate a possible answer (a theory) and then collect quantitative data to prove or disprove your theory (conclusion).

For me, discovering truth about heavenly things has a similar pattern: hypothesis, hope in a theory, acting in faith to acquire data and gaining knowledge as we come to a conclusion.


Hope

Long before knowledge and even before faith, there is hope.

God makes a promise.  I ask the question (hypothesis), "Is God's promise valid?"

When formulating a possible answer (a theory), I exercise a little hope.  I hope that God's promises are real.  If I didn't even hope for that much, I would not be motivated to find out.  Unfortunately, many don't even give God a chance because they DOUBT before they have data and just assume that He isn't there.

"Hope of salvation is like a protective helmet; it is the

  foundation of our faith and an anchor to our souls" 

(The Infinite Power of Hope, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Oct. 2008 General Conference).

Acting in Faith

Then you must collect data.  This is the time to ACT in FAITH.  You will never be able to measure the force of gravity if you refuse to drop the ball.  We must act on God's promise.  Be it honesty, kindness, chastity, charity, modesty, or any of the many commandments and promises God makes to us, we must ACT.

Take for example, this story from the Old Testament:

The Children of Israel have been wandering in the wilderness for 40 years.  Moses is gone and now Joshua is the prophet and leader.  As they approach the promised land, they have one final barrier to cross: the river Jordan.

God makes a promise to the people (through the prophet, Joshua) that if the priests that are carrying the ark of the covenant will cross the river first, He will cause "the waters of Jordan to be cut off" (Joshua 3:13) and the people will cross over on dry land.

Interestingly, everyone approaches the water, prepared to see a miracle.  They definitely have HOPE that God will keep His promise, but as they wait on the banks, the water rushes by and it seems that God will fail them.  Here is their moment to act.

"And as they that bare the ark were come unto Jordan, and the feet of the priests that bare the ark were dipped in the brim of the water" (Joshua 3:15), immediately, the water "stood and rose up upon a heap... and the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan" (Joshua 3:15-17).

They had to get their feet wet!  They had to demonstrate faith and ACT.

Knowledge

As we act on faith, we look for data.  In the case of the Israelites, the data was very clear - the Jordan river was parted and they crossed on dry land.

While our data can be miraculous like this story, it is more often gained through a witness from the Holy Ghost.

This is one of my favorite definitions of Knowledge:

"A personal witness borne to our souls by the Holy Ghost that certain facts of 

eternal significance are true and that we know them to be true." 

(Testimony, Dallin H. Oaks,  April 2008 General Conference)

When Simon-Peter bears his profound witness of Jesus Christ: "Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God," Christ commends him because "flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 16:17-18).

Knowledge of spiritual things comes through the Spirit of God.  Paul testifies of this in 1 Corinthians 2:11, "The things of God knoweth no man, but [by] the Spirit of God".

Two Prayers: Two Forms of Data

As I mentioned in the beginning, I was a young teenager looking for answers.

I profoundly remember a night as I said my bedtime prayers.  I started to think about how WEIRD I looked to anyone who didn't understand prayer.  I was kneeling on a hard wood floor and talking to myself!  In the quirkiness of youth, I literally laughed out loud - at myself!

What if God wasn't there?  What if He wasn't even listening?  Was I showing signs of insanity by talking to myself?

Then there was a different night, a few months later and only a week after Elizabeth Smart had been kidnapped.  I was over at a friend's house and we were having a sleep-over, outside on her trampoline.  The evening was great as we played under the stars and we were all asleep in a heap on the tramp - when I was awakened by a noise.

It was probably nothing - but fear is powerful.  I listened to the darkness and tried to calm myself.  A sense of dread overwhelmed me and I froze in panic.  I was afraid to run to the house by myself and leave my friends in possible danger (real or imaginary) - but I was also afraid to wake everyone up and worry them because of my own silly paranoia.

I was certainly hopeful that God was there.  I hoped that God was aware of me.  I really hoped he would help me.

I decided to act in faith.

I decided to pray.

I prayed for our safety.  I prayed for comfort.  I prayed for a solution to this evening scare.  As I closed my prayer, a raindrop fell on my cheek.  Within moments, a storm broke out and everyone woke up to pelting rain!  We ran inside and spent the rest of the night, asleep in a heap on the living room floor.

I didn't fall asleep right away.  The storm blew out as quickly as it had blown in.  That living room floor will always be a sacred place to me because I saw the Hand of God in my life.  I knew that He knew me.  He heard my prayer and He responded quickly and powerfully to show me that He was in charge.  I had data and my data was a miraculous summer storm in the desert.

Rewind back to the night in my room.  As my laughter faded, I felt an urge to pray again.  I found myself on my knees again, on the hard wood floor and speaking aloud.  I didn't have much to say, I only had one question.

"God, are you really there?"

I did not have a vision.  The heavens didn't open.  I didn't even get a drop of rain.  Instead, I was filled with love.  I felt enveloped in a love and comfort that reached deep within me and warmed my soul.  The Apostle Paul masterfully described it:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, 

gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance."

(Galatians 5:22-23)

I had received data - and it was a witness of the Holy Ghost.

There are still many things I do not know - But I do know that God is there.  He knows me.  These are only snippets of the volumes of experiences that have borne witness to me.

I can say "I know" because after hypothesizing, theorizing with HOPE, collecting data by ACTING in FAITH and receiving a witness of the Holy Ghost, I have KNOWLEDGE.

This pattern can be applied to every question - every commandment - every promise that God has made.

He is there.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

(Matthew 7:7)